A friend I work with went to a gallery opening last week. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go, but she decided that going out and being with her friends was more important than finding reason to bail. She said that she is choosing to say yes more often. When you say yes, you show your friends that they matter to you. Of all the things you could do, you prioritize your friendship.
There have been years where I’ve been better at that, and years when I’ve been worse at it. The last year, perhaps, has been the latter. I’ve gotten out of the habit of having wine on Thursdays for How To Get Away With Murder night. I’ve had fewer Ladies Lunches with former coworkers and friends. I missed the last grade school reunion dinner. There were fewer coffees and breakfasts and drinks. Our friend group hasn’t gone to a movie in ages.
Tonight, I went out to dinner with my cadet-parent friends. And we didn’t talk about cadets. There were beverages and laughs and we decided we should do it monthly.
I have an aunt who has to specifically book things during the winter because it’s super easy to become a hermit without realizing its happening. Can relate. Absolutely. Planning and intention is good, and all, but it’s not the end of it.
I read something a while back that said that when you don’t do something and then blame it on being too busy, you need to reframe it. You choose what you do. I choose to stay up too late – I didn’t choose to walk Louie. I choose to have a nap – I didn’t choose to go to the pool. I choose to eat the bagel – I didn’t choose to make the smoothie. And I need to choose my friends more often.
This Lent, may I choose to be a good friend, and may I follow my friend’s example to say yes more often.