Who’s already fallen face first into a bag of fun-size Halloween treats? Come on, your secret is safe with me. I’m actually pretty capable of rationing out a treat or two every day, but my gentlemen associate can smell candy no matter where it is in the house, and he gets feral from the sugar.

I got a gift for you, though, a really great throwdown you can use to dance off those Starbursts and peanut butter cups, and if you’re my sister, those molasses candies that no one likes except her.

Happy not-quite- Halloween, friends!